I heart faces...silhouettes

This week's theme for I heart faces is silhouettes. I took this picture of Paige and it is so symbolic. We were upon the anniversary of my dad's passing and at the time I didn't know that at that moment, my childhood friend had passed away. I took this picture at around 7:00 pm, and my friend passed away at 6:21. I like to think of this as a tribute to her as she goes on to the Heavens.

Speaking the truth from the heart

This little heart awaited us today at the dedication for my dad. Those who have followed my blog since my dad passed understand what this means!

My family in front of the new memorial garden, along with my dad's faculty.

Dad's little angel holding the plate that will be in the memorial garden.

My family along with my dad's wonderful principal!

A girl that my dad taught with had him for her own teacher and played basketball for him back in the day. She brought the yearbook for the dedication. My handsome dad is on the top row, smack dab in the middle. Look at that smile : )

This photo is blurry, but sooo Paige. Adults usually love on her and try to get her to sweet talk, but this is what she gives...the "rock on" sign. I love this girl :)

My first grade team. They ROCK!!! We have had the BEST and most enjoyable year with each other. Everyone calls us the "dream team" this year. We get along famously amongst a faculty that sometimes have conflict. I love these girls.

Paige stealing a piece of candy from our new fourth grade teacher, Mr. Smith. She thinks he is sooo funny (he really is a hoot!).

My very best friend at school, Dawn. She adores Paige and the feeling is more than mutual. Sometimes D. will call me at night and I don't get to talk to her because she and Paige are talking shop. Paige gives her advice on how to handle "girl drama!"

This is my friend, Jane. We grew up together and shared a lifetime full of memories. We were friends for 30 years. She passed away yesterday. My heart aches more than anyone can even imagine.

Jane and her son, Owen, taken this fall.

Please, if anyone is listening, HEAR me... it is OK if you are sad, depressed, feeling inadequate, struggling with life/parenting, not finding the joy in life. Please call someone, anyone, and share your burden. There are doctors, counselors, hotlines, people at church, someone at the park, a friend that you know isn't going to judge, but rather, listen and care. I am so sad that Jane didn't reach out to any of us. She must have felt so alone. She wasn't. We all loved her so much and my heart is breaking and I am MAD. Not mad at J., but mad that she didn't feel she was worth it. Jane, I love you, my dear sweet friend. You share some of my deepest darkest secrets. Your smile lit up a room and your laughter was contagious. You were always the eclectic, artsy booger and I envied your artistic ability. You were funny and dry and had the timing of a grandfather clock. Owie is the closest thing to you. May he never forget how much you loved him. I love you and will miss you every day of my life!

When my dad passed, Paige began looking at the sun and if rays were shining down, she would say that Dad and God were welcoming someone to heaven. Today, I took this picture and when I was finished, she turned around and said, "Look sissy, Heaven's hopping today!" I hope God and my dad scooped up Jane and embraced her and welcomed her to the greatest of all places.

I post all of this for several reasons: 1) this is my journal and documentation
2) it's therapeutic 3) I hope I reach someone (email me at: sissy2paige@yahoo.com and I will send you my telephone number)...if anyone ever needs a non-judgemental ear...it's here waiting. PLEASE, I ask that if you don't agree with the things I say, don't comment. Remember, blogs are the opinions of those who own them. Your beliefs may be different than mine. I am fragile right now... The only reason I opening up this post to comments is simply because I received so many precious and thoughtful emails this week, gently nudging me to open up comments. I love you all!

God Bless You All~!!!

No one knows what's around the bend...

Life sure has a way of showing us its ups and downs around every bend. We have been blessed with a new engagement in our family (my brother and his new fiance) and we have our health to be thankful for. I can't help but think of the blow of losing my dad and what this upcoming week will be like. He has been gone almost a year and if I knew one year ago, around that bend that I was going to have to say goodbye, I would have done things so differently. I would have spoken more gently or listened a bit more or hugged a bit tighter. No one knows what's around that bend, so live like it's the last curve!

Rockin' the AC/DC

My beautiful girl jumping for joy! I love this picture. I usually am very critical of what I shoot, but this pic is going on canvas and will be hung in our family room. This IS Paige. She is sassy and loves rock and roll music, like the oldies, AC/DC, Def Leppard, Journey, etc... She is so eclectic and I adore her!!!



To see more of the many photos I took, click on one of these pics and it will take you to my flickr stream. Have a great week :)

Thoughts

• I love that my summer begins in 8.5 days
• I have to get reports cards completed, a classroom wrapped up, give 16 children a pep talk that the safety and security of our little classroom community will follow them in the second grade, give some hugs, dry some eyes (mine and maybe a few kiddos), say goodbye to colleagues for a few months, turn off my brain and get ready to "exist"
• My sweet Paige is becoming a preteen. I am not dealing well with the extra estrogen that is flowing in our household. I am trying to remember what it was like to be that age and while I do, try not to lose my cool with my beloved P. in the meanwhile. Oh, how I love that kid.
• Hopes my mom isn't sad on Mother's Day and that she doesn't spend the day thinking about my dad. He always made her feel so special on that day. I hope that I can make her feel loved and cared for. While I know she'll appreciate the effort put forth, I know that inside, she'll be yearning for her love of 40 + years. I hope that she will know how loved she is.
• I'm excited that I am taking this weight loss so seriously. I am doing it! I am really shedding the weight and not by some fad diet. I am eating well, getting some extra activity and I am feeling great. I am down 14. 2 lbs. in 6 weeks.
• Facebook is starting to get on my nerves.
• I don't blog enough.
• I miss taking photos due to RAIN, RAIN and more RAIN!
• I am feeling optimistic about the future.
• Scared to death about an upcoming anniversary. It shouldn't be important that it was a year ago that he left, because everyday is a day without him. Why do people keep reminding me of what is coming up? Why can't they just leave me alone?
• I love my friends and know that they care about my feelings, but sometimes silence is more appreciated than words of advice.
• I hope that all of you have a Happy Mother's Day!!!
• Prayer is becoming so much more important to me. While I have my faults, I am realizing that they are what makes me who I am. Failure leads to growth. I'm growing every single day.
• I am so thankful for borrowed time...

Rainy days never get my girl down!

Jumping in a puddle in our neighbor's driveway.


Pure joy!


Gotta love rainboots!


Reflections


Mud jumpin'


Tree hugger!


She sure does clean up nicely!


The weather sure has been yucky lately...so what does one do on a rainy weekend???... why, mud jump, of course! Paige has so enjoyed putting on her rainboots and play in the rain. She is such a little tomboy and loves all things nature and dirt :) She enjoyed riding her new 20 inch bike in the rain, climbing trees and go "mud" jumping...(different from puddle jumping...that would be too clean for my girl...sigh)

I've really been slacking on my blogging, but will be out of school in 3 weeks and will be able to take lots of pics and enjoy some down time. If you are on Flickr, look me up there as I spend the majority of my time on there and Facebook! If you click on any of my pics above, they will take you to my photostream on Flickr.

Have a great week!