Thursday, April 8, 2010

Questions for Paige...she wants to hear from YOU!

beautiful paige

I told Paige that I shared on the blog that we had an amazingly, open conversation about adoption and her feelings. I made sure she knew that I didn't share any of what she said, as that was not my place. I then explained to her that there were other little girls, younger than her, who might experience some of the same feelings or encounter similar situations at school, etc... I asked her if I could share what we talked about, but she had a much better idea.

She would like to hear from YOU!

If you have any questions at all, please leave them in the comment section of the blog. We will wait until Sunday and then she said she would respond. She also said that she might share some other feelings. She is happy to know that she can maybe help others like her and that they can all learn from each other and know they are not alone.

So, there you have it...ask away!!!

18 comments:

EllieNat said...

I am looking forward to hearing what Missy has to say about any issues she is facing as she deals with her feelings of being adopted from China. My daughters ask questions about the whys and hows, but so far there is no emotion attached to their questions. I know the day will come when this will change. I hope I am ready! Look forward to your Sunday post.

Michelle@BornInOurHearts said...

I have no specific questions, but would love to hear the overall conversation and thoughts that she may have on adoption. I know it would be helpful to hear her perspective and understand some of the feelings my own daughters may have but may not be openly sharing (and Kara is not yet able to fully articulate such deep and delicate feelings). Thanks, Paige & Missy!

Debra said...

Oh what a lovely girl is Paige! I remember seeing her blog/page somewhere when she was a baby and was adopted by your Mom and Dad. I was thrilled to find your blog a while back and have been enjoying hearing about Paige and seeing her beautiful pictures.
My girls are 5 and 8. My 8 year old is just now getting to questions. Very benign right now. I know that she hears things in school about Chinese adoption from kids of ignorant parents. One time she came home and told me that they hate girls in China and they just throw them away. I would really like to know some of the things that Paige has heard from kids and/or adults and her feelings about them. Of course, any suggestions for me from her would be appreciated as well. Actually, anything that Paige would like to share would be most beneficial to my girls. I really want to be able to comfort them and prepare them as best I can. Thanks for doing this!

Neil, Carol & Liana (Elvis too!) said...

What a special girl Paige is! We LOVE your blog (amazing photos!), and it's obvious you & Paige share an amazing relationship.

My daughter is just in Kindergarten, we adopted her at 14 months from Hunan, China. I am wondering how Paige deals with/answers questions from classmates like "didn't your real parents want you?" Has she encountered much racism at her school, how has she dealt with that? Is there anything she can recommend we do as parents to help our daughters be secure & confident in their adoption?

Thanks to Paige for taking the time to answer and discuss - what an amazing young woman!

Love your blog! :-)

Carol in Chicago
www.flowerofchina.blogspot.com

Jboo said...

How ever nice of Paige -- she is just as sweet as she looks!

My little sweetie wonders why she was left? Of course, we answer that we just don't know. She also wondered about what she looked like as a baby and did she have a lot of hair? We really don't have any baby pictures of her. A couple things bother her and I wonder if Paige has any ideas to help. She is not very tall and she has the cutest little nose. Her classmates sometimes try to pick her up and/or ask why is her nose so flat? I try to help her with those issues as well, but maybe Paige some good ideas for me. Thanks Paige and Missy too! :)

Janet

amazeingteacher said...

I look forward to hearing Paige's comments on this post! She is beautiful! There has been a lot of talk recently about celebrating "gotcha day" with adopted kids so I wonder if you celebrate it and if it makes her feel "different" in a bad way?

Does she have any desire to go to China to visit someday?

Colleen said...

Thank you Paige (and Missy) for this post and being willing to share your feelings on adoption. Like the others I do not really have any specific questions, but would love to hear and try to understand some of what you are feeling now and maybe felt at a younger age. Faith turns 7 soon and I know the time will come soon when she will start asking more detailed questions.
I am curious if you feel it is important and how you feel about celebrating Chinese holidays, learning all about China, getting together with other children adopted from China,etc. We celebrate CNY and I try to read books to Faith about China, but sometimes I wonder if we are doing enough in exposing her to that part of her culture. Do you want to visit China one day Paige?
You are a very confident and beautiful young lady Paige and I know your family is so very proud of you. I look forward to hearing what you have to say.
Hugs to you both!

Lindy said...

I would like to know how Missy feels about having older sibs. Does she ever feel like you are her mini-mom?

rgshrs said...

Paige,
First let me say thank you for being you and for being willing to open yourself up that much to us. I have struggled all week to put into words some of the questions Julia has asked already. She turns 5 in a few months and already we have gotten "was that my other Mom?" when looking at a picture of her nanny handing her to me. She knows that she cried at first because she didn't know me yet. Most of the time she will in a matter of fact manner set people straight that I am her "real" mom and looks at them like they are crazy for even asking her the question. Mostly she struggles with self esteem that has me very concerned. She really doesn't think she is pretty at all and will make comments about her friends that have "light hair or curly hair" as being the only ones that are beautiful. Right now she identifies anyone that is asian at all as "having black hair like me" sometimes this is a good thing others not so much. So being such a beautiful, confident little spit fire that you are how do you feel about looking different than your family and friends?
I also struggle with knowing when we are talking too much or not enough about China. I try to just take my cue and answer her questions when I can as honestly as I can. So I look forward to seeing what you have to say on that as well.
Hugs Paige! Hope you haven't gotten more than you bargained for on this post! ;)

a Tonggu Momma said...

How sweet is she! I'd love to ask a few questions...

What types of racism has she experienced and how has she dealt with it? What would be helpful to her in terms of what you or your mom could do to help in that regard?

What does she treasure most about adoption? What does she find the most difficult?

Are there any books that she found especially helpful that touch on adoption and/or race issues?

What does she remember about how she processed her adoption story? When did she fully comprehend what it means to be adopted and how did that knowledge come about?

Any or none - whatever she feels comfortable answering.

Paige, thank you so much!

Mireille said...

Thanks for doing this Paige!! I am wondering how you really feel about your birth country, besides the usual festivals and celebrations you might do. Is there a longing to go back and research where your roots are from?

I am going back to Thailand with my twin girls this summer and wonder if it is a good idea to go to the Bmother and face her. Let the girls see the horrific conditions she is living in, will they be too young to handle this. They are 8 years old?? Maybe they get scary dreams about it later??
I went to Thailand and met the Bmother 4 years ago, and the twins met her too, but they thought she was an old friend of mine. So we just talked hugged and took pictures, but the girls had no clue who she really was. Maybe I should do the same this time again?? What do you think??
Or tell the truth, it could go either way, they will like to see and meet her, or their fantasy bubble will burst and they have bad dreams and feel so sorry for her!

Hope you can give me some insight!
Love to read about your lives, your blog has the best pictures!!

Greetings from South Africa!

Mireille said...

Thanks for doing this Paige!!
I was wondering how you really feel about your Bcountry? Do you feel a longing to go back and find your roots? Want to meet and find your Bmother??

My girls are 8 and we are going back to Thailand this summer and JJ and Jezz told me they want to meet their Bmother. We met her once before, when the girls were only 4 years old, so I didn't tell them that she was the one. We just met her, talked to her, hugged her and took some pictures. I just told them she was a good friend of me. They were too young to understand anyway.
Now it is a different thing, although I still think they are quite young. What if they get scary dreams and worry about her all the time after they have seen in what kind of situation she is living in? We sent her every year pictures and drawings, but the girls have never seen a picture of her. Their imagination is still very fairytale like, although they realize too that she must be poor.

What do you think is the best solution, wait another few years before confrontation, so they can rationalize more and just meet her like I did a few years back? Without them knowing that it is her, and not just a friend of me??

I really appreciate your input! You are a wonderful person from the inside and outside!!

Greetings from South Africa!

fleur de lis cottage said...

Not only is Paige smart and beautiful, she has a big, sweet heart too!

You still coming up next week? I hope so :-)

bbmomof2boys said...

Thank you Paige! I can't wait to read the blog on Sunday.

Little T just turned 4 yesterday and was adopted at 26 months. She is non-verbal right now which makes it hard for both of us. I don't know if she is processing anything just yet but want to prepare myself as much as I can for when she can (and she will!) talk.

She started in a new classroom at preschool a month or so ago. One of the little boys asked me if I was her mommy. I said yep and then he asked me if she came from my tunmmy and I said no, she is from China. He went on to say that he was from NY China - cute! Another child asked me why her nose was so flat and I said that is the way God made her. So my question to you Paige - did the other kids at school pick on you for your nose or hair or eyes? Actually, mean kids are everywhere but how do you handle it? How can I help Little T to handle these situations? Handle looking different that we do?

Do you have any memories of China? Of the orhpanage? If so, what do you remember? This is something that I always wonder about with Little T and with her being non-verbal she just can't tell me.

Thank you Paige for giving us the opportunity to ask questions like this. Whatever you feel comfortable with answering will be wonderful.

Hugs,
Carla

bbmomof2boys said...

oops...I have another one!

I know that Missy is your sister and I can see the love that the 2 of you have but do you ever wish for a sister that looks like you or that is closer in age? Our boys are 17 and 20 and I worry that Little T will want a sibling that looks like her or is closer to her age.

Donna said...

I'd love to hear Paige's perspective on adoption too. My girls are too little to understand many of the complexities but they'll someday fully grasp it and it will be wonderful to have voices like Paige's to listen to.

Donna
Our Blog: Double Happiness!

The Byrd's Nest said...

What a brave sweet girl Paige. Thank you for helping all of our children........I look forward to your answers to these questions:)

my3 kids said...

Hey Missy..I am not sure if you are aware of the issues we have been dealing with Kira and some of her classmates but it's been really hard on her as well as us. Calling our family "fake" calling her a "flat nose freak" and "pignose" among taking her things and not returning them etc. It's been really rough but Kira and I just sat and watched all of Paige's video clips and she really enjoyed it..thanks so much to you and Paige for taking the time to do this. Kira is 10.5 and a passive little girl who doesn't have any adoptive friends her age that live near us or who she can relate too other then her little sister. Kira saw the confidence that Paige expresses and I think that will go a long way for her and it was good for Kira to see/hear. Janice mommy to Kyle, Kira and Emma