Friday, January 9, 2009

I'm a worrier

I added this picture so you can see the difference in her eyes. Do you see the cloudiness? This was taken without a flash.
If you don't know, now you do. I am a self proclaimed, world's worst, top notch worrier.

With that said, I have strong intuitions, too. My gut hasn't failed me often.

Several posts back I asked that you pray for Paige's eye. Well, prayer warriors, I think we might really need you now.

I was going to stay quiet about this, but with a long weekend to stay busy knowing we go to Vanderbilt on Monday, I thought maybe, just maybe someone would know someone with a similar story and tell me that this will all be alright.

Thursday evening, while I am at home alone...Paige is out at dance, my mom bee bopping around town, the phone rings. It is Paige's Opthmalogist. She wants to talk to me. (She and I went to school together, so we are on first name basis). She said that upon further review of Paige's diagnostics with her, and with her speaking to Paige's Pediatrician, they just felt it was better to go ahead and get her in with Vandy asap. So she said, "Can you take her on Monday at 10:00?" I said that yes I would take off and go. She then said I think your mom should go to. So now I just ask her to lay it on the line for me....what on God's green earth are we dealing with here. She said it's probably a cataract and while that is not scary for an infant or an elderly patient, it tends to be very serious on kid's Paige's age. When cataracts come on at her age, there is an underlying reason why it is happening. That is what is scary, too. It can be all sorts of things from diabetes to vitamin deficiencies to... So I said do you think we will be looking at surgery. She said possibly, but to also educate ourselves and accept the fact that she could possibly have to have a CORNEAL TRANSPLANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, she proceeds to give me every phone number she has and to call her as soon as we leave the doctors office.

I get off the phone and well, yeah, I am crying. THEN ten minutes later THE PED calls. He starts in on how serious this is, how rare, do I know anything about her parents, is she urinating alot, is she dizzy. Then he tells us what to do in an emergency situation and who to call at Vandy should something happen over the weekend....(WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN????) So then he gives me fifteen numbers where I can reach him on Monday and he wants to hear back from me asap. Then HE said, "Be prepared for them to discuss corneal transplants" I start crying again.

While I know that this is NOT anything like most go through....it's happening to our little girl....should I remind them that she is my LIFE??? I am just really scared. I was hoping that someone knew someone who had a young child with cataract that just was able to get it removed and not have to go through transplant surgery.

Please pray for my girl one last time!!! Pray for me because I am trying REALLY hard to be strong for her. She acts woozie if she has to get a shot. If she gets a bloody nose, she thinks we should take her to the ER. This all stemmed from my dad passing.

Prayer Warriors...we need you!!!!

42 comments:

Jill said...

Um, wow, I am speechless i think. Our prayers are soo with you Missy.

Colleen said...

Missy,
All of our prayers are with Paige and your family. I too am speechless right now after reading this. I am going to do some googling to see what I can find on this. Please keep us posted!!
Hugs!!

rgshrs said...

Missy,
I don't know what to say, I'm afraid I don't have any info for you on this, but know that we are of course praying for Paige, you and your family. Please keep us posted. I don't know if you still have my number or not, but call if you need to talk or just anything.
Praying,
Heather

Kerry said...

Oh Missy. You know that we are on it and with all our hearts will be thinking of you and Paige this week and in the weeks to come.

I need to do some research too now. Boy- I can only imagine how you and your mom are feeling right now. And if you need anything- seriously please holler at me.
Get to the specialists on Mon and try try to have some relief in the fact that they are good and will evaluate her then.
Hugs,
Kerry for our whole family!

Kate said...

Missy,

I have been wondering about Paige. I am soso sorry you are having to deal with unknown right now. I am already praying so hard that you will get a good report from Vanderbilt on Monday. Try not to go into the what ifs until you get the hard facts...as hard as that is. Paige is such a spunky gal and I have no doubt that she will be able to handle everything that comes her way. Have faith that you are lucky to have such excellent medical care so close to home. Honestly my first thought was THANK GOD that Paige is home with YOUR family right now where she can be taken care of.

I will have you all in my thoughts and will be praying and waiting for the report on Monday.

Felicia said...

Missy, we are lifting you, Paige and your family up in prayer. Praying for strength, peace and resolution to her medical issue. Please keep up posted!!

Michelle said...

Oh Missy,
How sorry I am to hear this. I don't have any knowledge of this issue, but please know I am on my knees praying for you and your beautiful Paige.

Love,
Michelle

Michelle said...

Dear Missy please know I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. My heart aches for you my friend!
Michelle

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Hi Missy,

You know you all have been on my mind since I got your email Thursday night. I wish I had answers or some knowledge on this subject, but I don't. Try not to let your thoughts run wild until you talk with the Doc on Monday....I know that is easier said than done.

We are all praying for Miss Paige.....whatever the end result, you will get through it. Stay strong my friend.

Hugs,

Lisa

Jodee Leader said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. I will be thinking about all of you on Monday and praying it's not as bad as they think.

Frequent urination is a sign of diabetes so I think that is why they inquired about that!

Hang in there!

Amy Lafayett said...

Praying!

Chris and Deb said...

Missy....know that Paige and all of your family are in our prayers!!!!

Marla said...

Oh Missy! I am so sorry to hear this. I will cover Paige and you in prayer all weekend. Like Kate said, thank God she's here with your precious family where she can get whatever care she may need.

(((((Big Hugs from Texas)))))

day by day said...

Oh, I am sorry, Missy!! I am praying for Paige and will be praying throughout Monday...please update as soon as you find out.

((hugs))

Colleen said...

Oh Missy, this is scary. I'm so sorry! I will hope with all my might that Paige just needs the cataracts removed and it's not a bigger deal than that. I'm thinking of you and your family, sweetie.

Tracy said...

Missy,

I am so sorry you have to wait until Monday to see the doctor-I would be scared to death too the way those doctors acted. I don't know anyone who has had a cataract at this age, but your whole family is in our thoughts and prayers.

Please keep us updated...anyone who has met Paige knows what a special little girl she is.

I hope this turns out to be less serious than they are making it out to be-your family has been through enough already!

Mom to the King and Captain said...

From one worrywart to another, I am so sorry you are going through this. I will pray for you all. The positives I do see are that she seems to have great, caring doctors, which is really important.

Donna

Sherri said...

Well you know where my thoughts will be at 10am Monday morning...
I don't know what else to say except good luck and keep us up to date on this.....

{{Hugs to you friend and that sweet little girl of yours}}

LaLa said...

Oh Missy...call me!!! I am so sorry you are having to worry about this all weekend. Do you need me to come along on Monday? I really don't mind at all, just let me know.

I of course will be praying for all of you!

The Byrd's Nest said...

Oh Missy...I have been praying for Paige and your whole family. As if you need another emotional roller coaster in your lives.

I don't have any experience with this at all and even though her story is not the same....remember Tonya's little Ayla. The cancer was so big but God was bigger! Paige does not have what Ayla had...and still....look how HUGE God was in Ayla's life.

I am thankful you were not quiet about it. My favorite verse in the Bible is..."Do not worry about anything but PRAY and lift up everything". Never be quiet when you need Him the most. God loves it when we pray corporately!

I love you sweet girl.

Heather said...

Missy,

You can bet that we will be saying extra prayers for your family. Paige will be in our thoughts non-stop.

I wish there was something I could say or do to ease your burden. You are going to one of the BEST medical facilities with some of the BEST doctors. We'll be sitting in the wings waiting to hear.

Sending many hugs your way!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Missy ~ All of our prayers are with y'all. I am speechless at the moment. Huge, huge hugs.

Kelly Green said...

Oh Missy...I'm sorry. Prayers, hugs & strength coming to you all from Phoenix. How's Paige doing with all of this news? She's such an active monkey with such a resilient spirit...and with so much love in the household. If you have to go through something tough, there's nothing better than family strength.
Take care and keep us posted!!
Kelly

mommy24treasures said...

Missy my hubby and I just said a prayer for Paige.
I pray for peace of heart for you and your mom right now. What brings me most comfort in situtions is to find one scripture that promises me mercy, victory...and hang on to it with all of my strength.
love
c

Jennifer said...

Missy,

{{Big hugs}} to you my friend. I am keeping Paige and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Jen

kerri said...

Missy,
Paige has prayers going out to her tonight!
I am so glad she is getting in right away, that is good news.
Hugs Missy!

Heather said...

Awww, sweetie - I am a worrier too - I always jump right ahead and begin worrying before anything else - one would think me being the wild prayer warrior that I am, that would be my first instinct, but alas, no I get nervous, scared and then I relent and fall to my knees:) I have the Chrohn's to prove it. But Missy, God is so good and people are falling to their knees to pray for your family. We love you and will be here for you regardless of what Vandy finds. My prayer is that they find nothing, she is healed completely or it was never really there. If a different outcome exists then I pray for peace, the finest medical staff and courage that is unmatched.

I am so thankful you did not keep this to yourself - I am off to add Paige to our prayer chain - the more the merrier!

Please keep us updated Missy, holding you close and sending huge hugs.

Much love,
Heather

Jboo said...

Oh my -- I'm so sorry to hear this news. Will keep Paige and your family in my prayers and hope all goes very smoothly. Take care.

Janet

Julia said...

Oh my gosh Missy, I can certainly see why you're worried, but the doctors all seem to be right on top of this and you know how good a hospital Vandy is, they have the best doctors there, I'm sure they'll find out what is wrong and do whatever needs to be done for Paige. Worrying is what we do, but Paige is in tune with you and will pick up on your concerns, so think positive, be positive, and pray. That's what we all need to do. I can't wait to hear on Monday evening how it went, I'll be checking in often. Hugs Friend!

Gail said...

Missy, First of all thank you for writing about this. I researched it some and can see why you are concerned. Paige is getting the best possible care. Try not to worry, that's easy for me to say. I'm a worrier too and I also go to the worse case scenario. Paige and your family are in my prayers. Stay strong for your sweet girl.

hugs,
Gail

EllieNat said...

So sorry that you have this scary news. Along with many others, I will be thinking of you on Monday and saying prayers that it is not serious. Be strong.
Let us know what happens on Monday.
Sending prayers for you and Paige.

2China4Ayla said...

Missy- the doctors give worse case scenarios as a precaution to them. It is not to scare us half to death although it sometimes has that effect. I am so sorry you are going through this and your sweetie has to deal with this. It sounds like your doctors will leave no stone unturned, which is good. They will find out the underlying cause of this and get treatment right away. I will pray she will not need a cornea transplant. I understand completely why this is frightening and not what you want for your little girl. Some things you can ask for to ease your daughters nerves before a procedure would be versed ( a drug she can take orally or through IV before anesthesia or to sedate her, it also has amnesia effect so the patient doesn't remember the procedure or the fear of it.) Another thing to ask for before shots, IVs, etc. is EMLA cream (it is lidocaine cream that numbs the skin so the needle will not hurt.) If they want to do CT scans, etc and your daughter is afraid ask them if it is possible to use a versed/fentanol(sp?) cocktail to partially sedate her to take away the anxiety. I am not a big drug advocate but my baby has had to have so many things done and had to take so many drugs that I have found out which ones help to ease her anxiety and pain and I advocate for her to have this. It is always better to do no medicine but sometimes those machines are so scary that a little sedation goes a LOOOOONG way. Also do not be afraid to stand up for your daughter, ask 100 questions about everything, keep a notebook with you that you put words and definitions in of what they are talking about and when they talk in doctor lingo, ask them to explain in lamens terms - then write it down in your notebook so when the next doctor says it you will know. I am very sorry for all of this and I will pray that God does miraculous things through you and your daughter and guides and comforts you along the way!

2China4Ayla said...

Another thing...research how long cornea transplants are good for, and if they can have another transplant after the first is no longer effective. If they can only do the one surgery ask what your options are outside of that particular surgery...and what will happen if it goes wrong, ex: will she have to have her eye removed (enucleation) if the transplant stops being effective. For some reason I am recalling in my memory that a transplant may only last for 10 years and after that the patient will not be a candidate for another transplant. Again this is just something I am remembering and could be all wrong...but it is worth checking further into. Hope this helps...and doesn't frighten you more. Knowledge gives you power and also respect with doctors...the more you know the more they will share and the better decisions you can make for your daughter and your family.

sheryl said...

Oh Missy, please know that Paige and your family is being lifted in so many prayers. I don't have any information or experience in this area, but I do have experience in miracles. :-) I have personally witnessed the power of God and prayer through a dark time with my own child. Also take peace that Paige is being seen by one of the best medical facilities EVER. I will be thinking of you tomorrow, and even though I haven't been very active in the blogs lately, I will be checking on you and Paige.

Hugs,
Sheryl

Shawnstribe said...

Missy im speechless, No, this can't be happening!!!
i'm praying too!!!!!
your life must be on hold, i cannot even imagine how things are at moment!!!
(((HUGS))) and lots of love
xxx
s

Super Mommy said...

{{{Hugs}}} Missy and Paige - you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Leslie said...

Just popped in to see what you guys were up to. So wishing I had not seen this post. I don't know anything about this at all. I know I'm new to your blog, but I'll be a prayer warrior too. God will carry all of you through this unsure time. Just lean on him.

Please keep us updated.
I'm so sorry.
(((HUGS)))

LucisMomma said...

praying here, too.

2China4Ayla said...

Missy - If you have anything you directly want to ask or talk about please do not hesitate to send me an email. My address is: tonya.bramblett@yahoo.com
Praying for you and Paige! By the way Paige is so lovely.

bbmomof2boys said...

I hope you found some peace over the weekend and I'm praying that your visit is going well today. Please let us know how things are going!!

My prayers and thoughts are with you and Paige.

Hugs,
Carla

Tracy said...

I just wanted to say I have been thinking about you guys and I hope you got better news than you were expecting this morning!

Ms57Classic said...

Hi. In 2001 I had a corneal transplant and have written about it in my blog. I've also created a social networking site for those who have had a corneal transplant or will be having one. If you are interested the link is:
http://cornealtransplantsupport.ning.com
There are several members who's children have had corneal transplants and would be more than happy to talk with you.